Carrie's War - Apollo Theatre (15 Aug 2009)

Carrie's War - Apollo Theatre (15 Aug 2009)

Based on the novel by Nina Bawden of the same name, this play is a sort of Famous Five-style story about war-time evacuees and their adventures. The central character, Carrie, and her mouthy brother Nick stay with a very strict bible basher Mr Evans and his downtrodden sister Lou in (very) rural Wales.

Then it gets slightly odd when Carrie befriends a fellow evacuee Albert Sandwich...

Sandwich? Really?

...who's staying nearby with Mr Evans' sister, the dying Mrs Gotobed...

Go-to-bed? Are you taking the p*ss?

...at a farm called Druid's Bottom.

Seriously? Druid's Bottom.

Druid's Bottom is filled with slightly odd characters for rural Wales. The (Jamaican?) housekeeper, Hepzibah, is so freakishly loving that you want someone to smother her. She cares for "Mister Johnny" who has Cerebral Palsy (an actor with CP does actually perform the role).

Hand me the gin. It's the only way I can get through this drivel.

For the most part the characters are sickeningly lovely or cold-hearted monsters, which means none of them feel at all genuine. Those extremes make them very two dimensional. Worse still, the characters - especially Carrie - seem to be suffering from what I call the "Neighbours Syndrome".

The Neighbours Syndrome is when a character has an urge to suddenly develop schizophrenic tendencies, snapping one moment and then apologising the next. The sort of lazy plot development that's used to generate tension on the soap Neighbours.

DARLENE: (SCREAMING) why don't you just admit it - and say you don't love me anymore, Brett.
BRETT: But Darlene. I do. I do. I've always loved you.
DARLENE: (SOFTLY) Oh I'm sorry Brett. I can't believe I've been such a dag. What with mum in the hospital and dad up in court on that murder charge - I don't know whether I'm coming or going.
BRETT: That's ok luv. You've been going through so much of late, what with your family causing you so much grief.
DARLENE: (SCREAMING) How dare you say that about my family! They care about me more than you do.
BRETT: I'm not saying they don't Darlene, it's just you've got so much on your mind.
DARLENE: (SOFTLY) Oh I'm sorry Brett. I shouldn't be taking it out on you. What with Marlene being pregnant and Carl away at Uni, it's not the same any more.

...etc...etc...etc...

There's a much better example here from "A Bit Of Fry and Laurie":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV3tfauw3vQ

The Neighbours Syndrome is evident throughout the script, made all the worse with slightly pathetic stage exits in a sort of "...this is me being dramatic, I'm running off stage in a huff..." type of way.

I know how they feel, I wanted my money back too.

The plot does go somewhere. Just not very far, and not very fast.

+ There's an old woman (Prunella Scales) who loves children and has lots of lovely jewellery.
- I'd like the lovely jewellery box to play some part in the plot please

+ There's the lovely browbeaten Auntie Lou who's made to cry regularly by her brute of a brother
- Let's make it lovely again by finding her a man who treats her properly.

+ There's a lovely kind-hearted man with Cerebral Palsy.
- Let's shoehorn a sub-plot about being lovely to those people with learning difficulties?

+ lovely, lovely, lovely
- meh, meh, meh

It's all so sodding predictable. Even the Famous Five stories had SOME plot twists.

Career suicide you say?

The final resolution was similar to what you'd expect one of those cheap American TV drama series like "Highway to Heaven" or "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman". In short, the ending was implausibly delightful for everyone.

I'm sure the book is a wonderful read on a rainy Sunday afternoon, but I'd suggest an episode of "Highway to Heaven" over this play.

Tim scores: 3/10

Frat party piss up gets political

Now or Later - Royal Court (Jerwood Theatre Downstairs) (23/10/08)

A play written by Christopher Shinn, directed by Dominic Cooke

I always try to find something good, even in the weakest of plays, but it's hard to do that with Now or Later.

We're in a hotel room with John (Eddie Redmayne), a twenty-something Ame

rican student who's the son of a Democratic congressman, soon to be president on election night. John has to explain himself after the release of explicit photos showing him at a student party dressed as the Prophet Muhammad.

Democratic party officials, his parents, and fellow student friend, Matt, think he should issue a written apology to prevent further offence to the Muslim community. Also in the mix, John's also recently split with his uncommitted boyfriend and is still haunted by a failed suicide attempt which has been partly fixed with therapy. So potentially all the ingredients for a topical play with interesting themes and a fascinating family dynamic.

So what went wrong?

Tim thinks: Christopher Shinn writes dialogue like it's been cut 'n' pasted from a stodgy post-grad politics dissertation. No-one really talks like that. and certainly not gay emotional wrecks who're sons of high-ranking politicians. We're led to believe that John is totally convinced his party prank is justified, and hence he won't issue an apology. But his position - which is complex and flimsy - is convincingly undermined by the rest of the cast on several occasions. So why did the writer continue to labour this point ...for SEVENTY-FIVE minutes! If none of the characters believe his point is valid, then why should I?

I can't quite believe how badly Shinn failed in this play, which is annoying because there was so much potential. He sets up the characters beautifully, but doesn't develop them in any meaningful way.

John actually comes across as a young American version of Peter Tatchell - and just as annoying. At times Redmayne shows passion and conviction that lifts the otherwise dull dialogue - for example the tears at the end feel real. His sexuality is definitely

 underplayed which, in this context is justified. I feel sorry for his friend Matt (Domhnall Gleeson) who adds so little to the play he (arguably) doesn't need to be there. But major credit to John's mother, (Nancy Crane), who's convincingly cold-hearted and distant.

John's father (Matthew Marsh) does a good turn as a savvy politician, and his violent attack on John is one of the highlights. Unfortunately, the performances can't gloss over what is a dreadful political drama - minus the drama.

You know the play is duff when you're praying for a knife-wielding psychopath to storm on the set and hack the cast to pieces.

At least it would have been more entertaining.

Tim scores: 4/10

Another booby hits the West End

"Did we really need to see her breast?" my friend asked as we left the theatre."

Probably not, but it got your attention."

I was reminded the other day of my conversation about "Maguerite" which was on a few months back at the Haymarket in London. It had plenty of passion, but a ridiculous plot that fails to work on stage.

I still don't know what the script was trying to achieve, and I don't have space here to list all the problems. But it's a good example of what's wrong with the West End at the moment - at least in part.

Don't get me wrong. There are some excellent musicals and plays out there, but the big guns seem to be firing blanks.  Woman in White, Jersey Boys, The Sound of Music (or as my friend likes to call it - The Sound of Mucus) - they're all perfectly OK and bring in the crowds. But they lack a certain creativity.

I want to be surprised, excited, challenged. It's the LITTLE theatre companies who taking the BIG risks - and winning.  Take the parody "The 39 Steps" at the Criterion, or the slightly surreal "Brief Encounter" at The Cinema Haymarket.

Both produced by tiny production companies that weren't asking "How much can we make from this?" or "Will the American's get this story?"

I thoughtfully booked at seat for my friend to see Les Miz, who was visting from Canada. I haven't seen it for years, but it's one of the few musicals I really like. I felt quite jealous that he was going to see it while I was at work.

Strangely, when I met him later that day he wasn't impressed. In fact he was furious. He told me he walked out after the first act. The audience was packed. But everyone seemed to be munching McDonalds, unwrapping sweats, texting with their mobiles, or having the entire show translated into Japanese. No surprise then that the performance was also underpar. If I were an actor, I wouldn't bother either.

Perhaps then we get the musicals we deserve?